So I haven’t used this in forever but I really don’t feel like I have anyone else to talk to or anywhere else to write so this will have to do I suppose. I feel like I have lost everyone. I have no true friends left. Anyone that was a true friend lives forever away now and I never see or hear from any of them. A big group of them seem to ignore me now, I keep trying to reconnect and organise something and get us all together again but I never get a reply. Is it just bad luck? they’re busy, checked their phone and forgot? or do they just not want to see me or talk to me. cos it feels like the latter. another particular friend who was once very close is now very far. I never see or speak to him anymore and whenever I do make the effort, no matter how small it seems to go unnoticed. in fact not just my old friends but I feel nobody likes me. old or new. friend or not, people don’t seem to like me no matter how hard I try. I’ve done some stupid shit in the past and fucked up but I’d like to think the worst things I’ve done are well in the past by now and shouldn’t be affecting me like this. All I do is worry about it. I texted my friend yesterday and he hasn’t replied, and since then all I’ve done is worry about it. I feel hopeless and I feel like shit, and I wish I still had someone to talk to and someone to understand but I don’t. I feel like robin williams, surrounded by people but unable to connect, surrounded by joy but unable to tap in on it. there are people all around me, but they don’t understand me and I don’t understand them. there are happy people, all around me, yet I am decidedly unhappy and I can’t seem to feel better. I think just one text, one reply or message would really help but I haven’t got one. I don’t know what to do but I feel like there’s no point in being around at the moment.